Yummy Yummy Farts
by Lunicwriting
Summary: Kyle can t stop thinking about Cartman s farts. He s tried to hold in this secret for years but one night something in him decides this needs to change, and he knows only one solution. To call Cartman over. KYMAN?


_A/N ok, so this is a crack-fic, it´s supposed to be weird and f*cked up_

 _A story from my Ao3 account, but I thought I had to bless with this so I´m publishing it here too :)_

 _Idk why do you even want to read this..._

 _enjoy ^^_

Something was wrong with him.

Kyle Broflovski didn´t know what the feeling was, there were no word alone to describe it.

 _Longing_

 _Hunger_

 _Lust_

His mind went to places he never thoughts he´d think off. Being in denial was never good and he knew that, but this was too much, even for him to accept and he saw himself as an accepting person. Then that toxic thought with lusting feelings came creeping up on him he immediately builded up a wall, trying to keep them away or find an excuse if they slipped through.

Kyle, laying in his bed trying to sleep since there were school the next day, had a hard time to not let that wall tear down. During the day it was easy, his surrounding and people in his life usually help to keep his focus on something else so he never really got the time to let his thoughts wander away. The nights, however, where something else. When laying in bed, waiting for his brain to calm down and his body to relax in the soft mattress, it's a time where nothing distracted him so it was easy to get overwhelmed with thoughts.

Kyle turned his head to the alarmclock at the side table, he usually planned to sleep at 10 p.m in order to get a good rest before school, but now it´s soon 11pm he sighed heavily, just wanting to sleep but his eyes were wide open.

He turned around in his bed, fixing pillows and turning around under the breathing grew heavy as he remembered the day that slowly changed him. At first it felt disgusting; that big, smelly air from his butt rapeing his face over and over. Sipping into his mouth and spreading like a wildfire down his throat, burning his dignity away.

It was disgusting.

The thought was disgusting still, but… in a weird way when he thought of that time, Kyle´s body won´t be able to keep still. His cheeks flush red and his heart beat faster than what was comfortable. Right now, he could feel how his face burned in the dark room, his heart felt duplicated and like drums them beat in his ears.

 _This is stupid,_ He told himself with a shaky whisper, annoyed that his body wouldn´t calm down. Unwillingly his eyes constantly wandered towards his cell phone on the table beside the bed. Deep down he wondered if everything, the lust and excitement, would die down if he got cartmans fart on him again. Oh God. Just thinking of it made him squirm. He never wanted to give Cartman a free pass to making fun of him, and saying "fart on my face" would be the biggest humiliation Kyle could ever give Cartman. But his body couldn´t stop wanting to feel the weak air blowing on his face, with a variety of smells and tastes. Groaning into the pillow his eyebrows furrowed at the stupid idea his brain gave him.

` _Call Cartman over.´_

He furiously shook his head, turning his eyes to his phone. No matter if he wanted or not to have Cartman´s farts, he couldn´t let that fatass the enjoyment to degrade him. His heart made a loud jump at the idea, and he felt like his fingers wanted to grab around the phone and hurriedly type a message, calling the boy over.

With heavy breaths he heaved his tense body up, letting the cover fall off his body. It felt like if he didn´t do this, he would never be able to sleep again. Quickly sliding up the locker screen and putting in his code as his brows knit together more and more and in his eyes were determination to just end this all. If he even hesitated for a second it felt like he would just throw away the phone against the wall and angrily try to convince himself to sleep on a what-could-be sleepless night. Nothing on his face showed weakness for that he was about to do, except for a moment of doubt when he opened his and Cartman´s chat, but he ignored his brain telling him to calm down and think it through. Kyle was tired of listening to his brain trying to reason, he had followed his brain too many times during nights when his body had given in to the thoughts of Cartman´s back air, they all ended up with him lying and turning in bed, his body hot from all his imagination running wild. So today was the day he let his body decide, and it wanted Cartman. He sighed at how wrong this was, knowing he definitely would regret this but he opened the keyboard on the phone and started typing.

Kyle - Fatass! I know you´re up so come over!

Their chat were more filled that most people would expect. Almost everyday had they been texting each other, mainly cartman texting Kyle every hour of the day, in no consideration of Kyles sleep schedule or even if he had classes. Their texting always ended up being more and more dragged out with both boys basically arguing with each other, kyle trying to give Cartman a bit more righteous morals and Cartman giving his stupid ideas to Kyle that Kyle didn´t care much about. Sure, they usually was seen fighting, but they were more close than people thought and sometimes Kyle even enjoyed just seeing Cartman chat on about nothing.

Right after Kyle sent the message he immediately closed his phone, feeling awkward at that he wanted to do, and fell to his bed, turning away as if he tried to trick himself he wasn´t anxiously waiting for Cartman to answer.

 _ **BZZZz**_

 _ **BZZZz**_

His body tensed up from the sudden buzzing sound from the phone that lit up, letting him know he got text. He waited a few seconds, letting his heart calm down a bit before reaching over and picking his phone up, holding it up over his face as he laid down and once again unlocking the screen, with nervous fingers.

Fatass- why should I? I might be sleeping

Kyle sent another text, seeing Cartman was still online.

Kyle- No, you´re not. Just get over here NOW

Fatass- Don´t wanna.

Kyle- Don´t be an ass! It´s important…

Kyle watched Cartman´s status turning offline. Cursing under his breath he let the phone fall on his side, hand still gripping tight around it.

A few minutes went by. Still nothing from Cartman and Kyle started to give up and calm down, thinking it´s best that way. Probably.

A tap on the window caught Kyle´s attention. Quickly sitting up, the red haired boy felt a rush in his body jolt through when he saw the well known face.

 _Fuck_. Kyle thought for a moment, believing Cartman wouldn´t actually come all the way here with so little information. He immediately kicked himself of from the bed and let his naked feet walk the way to his window. Cartman gestured for him to open and Kyle rolled his eyes, already with his hands on the window lock. He pulled open the window, shudder as cold night air flew inside.

Cartman gave a grin while outside, "Hey, Kyle. Couldn´t even go this far without seeing my pretty face?" He teased, throwing his leg over the frame, nearly kicking Kyle in the stomach.

"Shut up and get your fat ass in here. I´ve…"  
Kyle hesitated to continue, his brains´ logical solution to just suppress his lust might be the best option and during the time it had taken for Cartman to come here it had grown louder and now a red flashing alarm had taken over, warning that this was a fucked up and stupid thing to do. As if Kyle already didn´t know that.

"You what?" Cartman said, closing the window after him. Kyle glanced at him, having indecent thoughts about Cartman while he´s standing right in front of you is a new low, Kyle thought, feeling his ears getting warm under his green ushanka hat he always kept on, even during sleep.

Cartman breathed out loudly, receiving an annoyed glare from Kyle who immediately hushed at him. Cartman didn´t care and just walked over to Kyle´s bed and like it was his own he kicked off his shoes and pounced down on the mattress, spreading out his limbs. "Dude, what do you want? It´s late and there´s school tomorrow, you know?"

Kyle sighed, relaxing his shoulders to not seem too nervous, he walked over to his desk chair, but stopped when Cartman gave a whistle. He turned around, irritated that Cartman wouldn´t be more quiet in case his parants´ were to hear.

" _Dude_!" he hissed, "Quiet or my mom or dad will hear!"

Cartman shrugged," They won´t. I´ve been here a thousands times and they´ve never cared. But why did you call me over? You know. You staying up late on a school night is more bothersome." Cartman gave Kyle a questioning look, almost a bit of worry behind his gaze. "Need a sleeping buddy, or what? If so, go and be gay with Stan because I´m not up for it." He changed his position to the side, supporting his upper body with his arm and his cheek squished on it.

Kyle grounted," Shut up Cartman and listen…"

Something is his voice had to sound serious behind his shakey words since Cartman raised an eyebrow and that stupid smile disappeared. "Yeah, jew boy, I´m all ears."

With a hesitating glance, Kyle looked at Cartman and exhaled a kept in breathe, "I… really need your help, dude."  
Oh god he couldn´t believe what he was going to ask of Cartman, of all people.

"Can you fart on my face."

He didn´t say it as a question. It was direct because he´d been waiting for weeks after it and one minute more would drive him to tears. Kyle studied Cartman´s reaction, his face burning hotter and hotter, to the point he was afraid he´d look like a tomato with a hat.

A short laugh escaped Cartman, his brows narrowed together as he saw his friend coil back at what he´d just asked. "What the fuck? Kyle I knew you were a dirty jew but for you to ask me something like that? Seriously?" Cartman somewhat reacted differently than what Kyle expected. He had waited for a reply with disgust but instead he only heard Cartman answer with a jokingly tone of voice, with an underlying sensual meaning behind it.

Kyle flushed red as Cartman sneered at him, amused to hear his victim say something so submissive.

"I-I know it might seem like a joke, Cartman. But the truth is… I´ve actually-"

"Always wanted my yummy yummy farts?"

Kyle´s eyes opened wide as Cartman stole words from him.

The bigger boy sat up on the bedside, his legs spread so a body could fit in between them. With a crooked head to the side, Cartman smiled teasingly, showing power. Kyle swallowed saliva that gathered in his mouth.

"I already know, Kyle. I´m not stupid you know?" Cartman said," That day in fourth grade, when I farted on your face. I knew immediately you liked it. You liked feeling overpowered, I guess it´s a jew thing?"

Kyle´s heart was about to burst, not being able to keep up with the blood flowing up to his face.  
"You know, I´m not , definitely not gay. But I do like to see you under me, in a non gay way, of course." The bigger boy signaled to Kyle to come to him, as to which the red haired boy did. Standing in front of Cartman, Kyle´s hand were stuck to his sides in anticipation. Cartman pointed to the floor in front of him." Down. Face up."

A domestic voice, strong and a tint darker that normal.

With nervous legs, a beating heart and a loud alarm in his head telling him to stop before it was too late; Kyle obeyed. He laid on his back against the wooden flood.

Finally, he thought as he heard Cartman ready himself.

 _A/N_

 _...Why did you read this..._

 _Wanna leave a review? please do! And try to beat the one I got on my Ao3 account saying, and I quot "I am in physical pain after reading this."-O hhhh._

 _sooo don´t hold back ^^_


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